The Most Epic Cat Beard. Ever.

31 05 2013

Well I finally know why I was put on this earth. The culmination of my 28 years has manifested itself in the form of what I’m pretty sure is the most epic cat beard photo on the internet. (If you don’t know what that is, click the link to find out then come back when you can fully appreciate this post.) I apologize in advance for all the cat puns.

I thought it was gonna be just another lame, Friday night at home because my friends flaked on happy hour. After dinner and watching the season finale of The Office on Hulu several weeks after it aired, I decided to once again attempt the latest cat meme dominating the internet. My first few attempts were feeble. You could see too much of my face or too much of the cat and our alignment was totally off. Attempts 1-4 were pretty much the same amount of fail. Number 5 was close, but you could see my nose and my knee. Attempt 6 I couldn’t even see because the cat was blocking the screen of my iPhone. But then, for attempt number 7, the planets and the stars aligned and the fates conspired to catapult me to fluffy-faced fame. I looked at the screen in awe. It was purrfect. I couldn’t import it into Instagram and pick a filter fast enough. I didn’t want to deprive the world of this image any longer than I had to.

Behold the epic cat beard:

Epic Cat Beard

It’s ok if you need to look away because the power of the meow-stache and beard is too overwhelming for your mortal eyes. Maybe putting on sunglasses or looking at it through a little hole in a piece of paper (like you did in Elementary school during an eclipse) would help. Everyone knows the Internet was invented and is ruled by omnipotent cat-gods and I believe this pleases them immensely. I can only hope one day to mingle with other world wide web famous felines like Grumpy Cat, Lil Bub and I Can Haz Cheeseburger Cat. Dare to dream.

I would love to divulge my secret to the perfect cat beard positioning, but I have been sworn to secrecy as the Grand Wizard of the High Cat Beard Council. But, ye mortals are welcome to guess what it is. 😉